Daily entries

Days 16 and 17: The ups and downs of yesterday and today

Yesterday night I made an intentional decision to skip writing a blog post, and instead chose to go to bed at a decent hour. I hadn’t gotten eight, or even seven, hours of sleep in one night in at least ten days, and perhaps relatedly, every day for a while I’ve been getting a headache in the afternoon. Today I drank a ton of water in hopes that would help, but around 3:30 the headache came to visit. Maybe I need more electrolytes. Maybe I need more than one night of good sleep. (“Pizza” said the lady with the alligator purse.)

Yesterday I was a part of someone’s 2019 passion project, called 100 Faces. The beautiful and talented photographer Meghan MacAskill of The Wild Bloom Studio, asked for volunteers to help in her quest to develop her portrait photography, promote diversity, and at the end share the impact. My easy job was to sit in front of the camera; my not-so-easy job was to try to let my eyes show whatever prompt Meghan gave (Ten points if you can “smize.”). For example, “Think about a regret in your life,” or “Imagine what you’re going to accomplish over the next year.” 

We got to chat a bit during my 30-minute session, and it was inspiring to hear about her process, and how the project has evolved. Can’t wait to read her findings at the end. She still has a few spots left if you’d like to be a part!

Today I started my day in the best mood. I woke up happy, got the kids to school, grabbed a coffee (iced Philz Philtered Soul today), picked up a few groceries, then arrived home and realized I had forgotten my phone. The positive: I forgot my phone and didn’t realize it until much later; I see this as progress in not being so attached to it. The not-so-positive: I use my phone to unlock my front door, so I didn’t have a way to get in. Long story short, I had to use a stranger’s phone to call my mom, ended up driving to my sister’s house, got a code and was able to get in. Insert palm-to-face emoji here. The story I’m telling myself is it was all for a reason. I don’t know what that reason is, but all’s well that ends well as they say. (Fun fact: Google just informed me “All’s Well That Ends Well” is a play by William Shakespeare, published in 1623.)

Once I was IN my house, I spent hours tidying. In some instances, tidying meant throwing it all in a box to deal with later…but at least I don’t have the clutter in sight. I have a physical reaction to seeing my house a disaster; I get angry and tense, but instead of having that drive me to clean, sometimes I just get overwhelmed and bury myself into something else I can control. 

I recently visited a psychiatrist, and the assistant asked me where in my life I felt okay with being less-than-perfect. It was a really eye-opening question because while I don’t feel I’m perfect, or where I’d like to be, in any area, I also realized I haven’t given myself permission to have areas where I feel okay with that. So…clearly there is more to explore there. 

Tonight I had call #3 of 12 for my weekly women’s group designed to help empower us to “fulfill our purpose” and to develop and trust our intuition. We spent a bit of time talking about money, our emotions and thoughts around it, and how that shows up.

Yesterday I signed up for a membership with Core Power Yoga, and tonight I spent a little time researching yoga teacher training; there are so.many.options. My impatient self wants to do everything NOW, and the ones in April or June or September feel so far away. Patience is not my strong suit. 

If you’ve done yoga teacher training, I’d love to hear about your experience! What are important things I should consider? Where did you go? Were you happy with your choice? Anything you would change? (I don’t intend to become a full-time yoga teacher, but rather I want to learn more about the history, connect to the mindfulness and presence of the practice, learn correct positioning, and be able to share this knowledge intelligently.)

My thoughts tonight have been here, there and everywhere. I’m looking forward to crawling into bed where my flannel sheets are waiting for me.

Cheers,

Nicole

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